But am I happy? I think I am ands then I find myself longing for you. It would kill me to see you with someone else happy. I reached out to you and you never listened, never responded. Moved on, had different relationships and every single time I found myself dreaming of you. The three years before that were a dream that it would come. K- it’s been almost 10 years since we pursued this. The worst thing is i only wish her happiness, even if i realize that it's going to be somebody else doing what i want.įirst love must be the worst, you do not get over it, you just learn to live with it. I guess the first love defines you in so many ways. Anyways, I'm in the process of moving on all over again and it isn't easy. I keep telling myself that she was made for me in another life. Maybe I fantasize too much and I'm chasing something that will never come back to me. I thought she was the one, a part of me still does. Even found a girl who was like her but was more compatible with me in every single way however my first love lives forever in me. I told myself that but after seeing her actually getting engaged. I can't even begin to explain how sad I felt. I haven't spoken to her in 3 years and recently just found out she's engaged. She and I have a no contact thing so I am cut from her life forever. She was going to serve a mission and wanted to marry a mormon man. We were together for around 2 years before officially breaking it off. We risked it all, loved each other and decided to be in a relationship anyways. I mean she had fallen in love with her closest girl best friend. I fell in love with her instantly, but she was a mormon and that caused a lot of conflicts in our relationship. I met her when I was 15 years old in high school. Has anyone reconnected with their first love and are now together as you knew they were yoir one true love?įirst love getting married on July 23, 2020: Maybe we'll meet again, even if it's in the nursing home. I doubt you still think of me after all these years but you never know what the future holds. I regret being angry with you that day and I wish I could have told you one last time that I really loved you, because I did. The last time I saw you tears were streaming down your face and through my anger I didn't even try to comfort you. L, I still wonder about you almost a decade and several relationships later. All I think about is him, all I remember is us and I left the parts of me that felt most alive in him, I loved him more than I knew capable so what I find hard is what do you do after? When do my memories get easier, I have such a photographic memory that won't allow me to move on, 2 years of love and it wasn't enough, I feel so lost without him and I used to be so independent, I never knew the most pure feeling in the world could be the worst pain I'd have to endure and that's questionable after what I've been through. We never believed in love so it was so pure and real and scary, the most vulnerable I'd been and also the first person to ever truly love and accept me for myself, I'm broken and it's been no more than a few months of being apart, this distance broke us apart. The hardest thing about losing my first love was that we were still in love, with no choice of whether we were going to stay together or not, we had no choice. Why did I have sex with such a loser? Why did I trust her with all my heart? Why didn't I see that she was cheating on me? These are just some of the elements of the heart-wrenching regret that ensues after the breakup. All these things snowball into a burden of regret after your first love falls apart.